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Choking On The Revelry

by Jeff Brawer

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1.
Victor 03:54
We crossed paths literally In the blink of an eye I was helping you off of the street In front of passers by and all the house doors opening Asking if you were alright You were out of breath Your hands still on your knees A busted up Orange Crush two liter at your feet Bursting with apology I was visibly shaken You sat down next to me In broken English you quietly spoke your peace Pulled up to that Stoney's bar Said I've had a drink here before while you looked across the street I said let's go inside The first fifty rounds on me Promised that you'd be right there I never saw you again But your broken reflectors I keep In the back of my truck just to seal your memory Oh Victor I hope you don't hate me I hope the vivid image of my headlights don't haunt you in your sleep Oh Victor I hope you don't hate me I hope you break the chains of poverty and crush your enemies
2.
Above the revelry for all these days From a fourth floor window I command my gaze The street is calling let me be your grave It's the only option in this god damn place The ghosts that ended up this way In a hope drowned room In a wide eyed state Picture of an old cliche In a hope drowned room In a wide eyed state Drifting off into that dull old paint While these festive voices keep on provoking Days ago I could blend with these Fucking wild hyenas down on Fremont Street The ghosts that ended up this way In a hope drowned room In a wide eyed state Picture of an old cliche In a hope drowned room In a wide eyed state Running through an endless maze Running through the same casinos for too many days Running through an endless maze Running through an endless maze Feeling like a cartoon shape dancing over background frames
3.
I resist for all I'm worth Against an unforgiving force That I can't even see I struggle on a line I had to take that bite Just starving and naive Now it's face first into sea All the terror on my face Makes no difference as they callously celebrate As the water fills my lungs I think of everything I've done And if I had the chance I'd do it all so differently Dead eyes are unimpressed As they look up at this mess A wretched piece of meat I guess I'm not enough Pathetic skin and bones They swim away and set me free Now it's two feet into dirt And I'm questioning my worth What is wrong with me? Why have they rejected me? Yeah I think I need a drink Make it a Hub pour Let it seep into every cell Obliterate my memory
4.
True to form The routine of loathing They want more They wanna pound on every door There's a horde who feeds on bloodshed Petty souls hellbent on battle evermore A wake of vultures Looking down on us like restaurants in a hope to eat again They grow emboldened And their eyes light up to focus on the most inflicted pain There's a groan Gnashed teeth and judging Sign in bold Your kind ain't welcome in this world There's a horde who feeds on bloodshed Petty souls hellbent on battle evermore A wake of vultures Looking down on us like restaurants in a hope to eat again They wouldn't notice if the body they were feasting on was gold
5.
Clouded once again The what ifs won't relent The miles ain't heaven sent Signal lost from the northwest Break it off my chest The tightness and the strain Release every trace of pessimism Swimming through my veins No dulcet chord tones Lifting up all that was low No plans No scenes No voice memos to sing No conversation puts it all at ease Break it off my chest The tightness and the strain Release every trace of pessimism Swimming through my veins Say it's for the best and wallow in the dream Where a million complications go away
6.
Fangs 03:38
Lured away by the unfamiliar Drifting from face to face Lured away Lured away Clutching to the bottom In a cold and seamless haze All the smiles that seemed so comforting show their fangs Gone away The survivor A vibrant and youthful flame Burns away Burns away Clutching to the bottom In a cold and seamless haze All the smiles that seemed so comforting go away And you say someday things'll go our way And the signs won't seem so disparaging
7.
Gunderson 03:04
Ol Gil's gonna get em next time He's gonna own his fate Ol Gil's gonna get em next time He's gonna lick the brass ring Always at the tips of fingers So damn close that he can almost taste Open book demeanor Desperation marked all over his kind old face Ol Gil's gonna get em next time He's gonna own his fate Ol Gil's gonna get em next time He's gonna lick the brass ring Dreams of pins and needles in the sewer As he sleeps upon his pile of debt Blundered suicide Oh never mind the Xmas lights all wrapped around his neck Ol Gil's gonna get em next time He's gonna own his fate Ol Gil's gonna get em next time He's gonna lick that shiny brass ring
8.
Humidor 03:49
All the magnets on that fridge Used to serve up a purpose Now they don't hold a thing But a takeout menu from this Chinese place Put those things away In a humidor I saved The clutter has gave way To an echoed room and all this open space The tension melts away It's getting easier to breathe right in this place Put those things away In a humidor I saved

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released October 13, 2016

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Jeff Brawer Tampa, Florida

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