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All My Best Friends Sing

by Jeff Brawer

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1.
The sky is screaming All-night explosions Drowns out the ringing in my ears that never goes away An eve of something The outside creeps into the dreams I fell asleep just so I'd escape I say goodbye oh oh  I say goodbye To a year that couldn't wait to take you away We said goodbye oh oh We said goodbye A final bedside squeeze of hand on an April day I just wanna feel a brand new Florida breeze on a winter day and our kind of place  Reliving all the things absurd and in between  Communicate with ease and laugh it all away I just wanna hear all my best friends sing Static in the air and strangers listening I just want a drink to accompany me when that perfect line  sends shivers up my spine  Alive and breathing among destruction Another broken body trying to keep out of the way Hold on for something  The words that linger on a calendar just three pages away We watch the time oh oh We watch the time  Burn the minutes burn the hours burn the days We watch the time oh oh We watch the time And go running towards a damn near paid off grave I just wanna feel a brand new Florida breeze on a winter day and our kind of place  Reliving all the things absurd and in between  Communicate with ease and laugh it all away I just wanna hear all my best friends sing Static in the air and strangers listening I just want a drink to accompany me for that perfect line
2.
The frayed upholstery 'Neath pens and sharpies Curse words, heart frames and logos It's my field of vision to a destination that seeps that dread into my bones Put that dubbed over tape in Black out every surrounding A young James has spoken Sings life's for my own And it bleeds through these taped up headphones And I feel surrounded  Some good some bad None of which I care to know  So I slouch down lower Taking cover A magic force field on this bus   Put that dubbed over tape in Black out every surrounding A young James has spoken Sings life's for my own And it bleeds through these taped up headphones 
3.
I guess He didn't make it It seems the bullet wasn't finished with the pain Now everything that I hold dear upon my tarnished name Can never be again Head down for the verdict A wounding gavel crashing down to seal my fate Trace the cracks of time on weather tiles that hold my gaze Will it wash away? Will it wash away? All the dirt in my reflection Closing eyes that always see that same old face Looking back at me Memories of August Him and I we used to own those summer days Killing time on old Redlines The endless roads seemed paved Just for our escape You think ya got a brother But all the years go by and shit gets in the way Who'd of thunk a blinding night of alcohol and rage Could ever end this way Will it wash away? Will it wash away? All the dirt in my reflection Closing eyes that always see that same old face
4.
He squints his left eye just like me It opens wider as he recognizes my face He always asks me for the day And tells me to get him out of this god forsaken place Fighting off the CNAs "I don't trust em, son , they're all out to get me" Fighting off the CNAs He swears it wasn't just a dream Last night he walked the streets alone in New York City Scored a ticket to the big game  "Ya should of seen the view It's like I was a VIP And I swear I saw your mom Alive and beautiful I fell into her arms  Son, I swear I saw your mom She was so beautiful I fell into her arms" He always asks me for the day And tells me to get him out of this god forsaken place
5.
GDT 04:30
The pinata hanging in his line of sight  With a blindfold only partially covering eyes Scrawny bastard with a shovel stick in hand Felt the air of doubt all swirling around him Cause he never won a god damn thing No he never won a god damn thing Grit his teeth and take a swing Bash a hole into the paper mache She took a dive in Little hands so frantically  Reaching for what seemed like treasure to a kid Still half-blinded He hit the ground and didn't see She broke his fall and wound up tangled underneath And she never got a god damn thing No she never got a god damn thing Just tears and dirt covering her face and the affirmation that chivalry was dead And with the crying He thought to himself "god damn I fuck up everything" And with the crying It was a short lived victory  He turned to her and said I'll give everything to you I'll give everything to you Everything I got on me That rained down from the paper mache That hailed down from the paper mache 
6.
Sweet sweet sweet isolation Keep that soul inside a pistol locked away Same old same unmoving notions Keep that hope inside devised reality Redefine it in a haste to pull a lever Justifying all the promises that never see the day Paint those fears away in  familiar colors Toe the line Oh keep those lies at bay Absolutes in tunnel vision  Scan the black and white and gloss over the gray Eat that volume Nod and listen The petty slogans slowly burn into a brain Redefine it in a haste to pull a lever Justifying  all the promises that never see the day Paint those fears away in a familiar colors Toe the line Oh keep those lies at bay Go on and toe the line and keep those lies at bay Just toe the line and keep those lies at bay
7.
A bit outside it in the cold I see the way  That the blue light rests so easy on their faces And the warm kind of way they push the tables into place Just to revel in each other's company Just to revel in each other's company  A swell of  voices and of  laughter congregate Sends a rush through these old tired worn out veins Have one more then on my way Because I have a  tendency  Just to sit here till I can't recall my name As  I fall into the memory of the days As  I fall into the memory of the days

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Recorded at Atomic Audio by Mark Nikolich

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released January 6, 2020

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Jeff Brawer Tampa, Florida

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